


it's fearless

by smokeinsummerrain



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: F/M, cute dumb dorks, paxton cares about devi so mUCH, takes place directly after s1 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23983618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokeinsummerrain/pseuds/smokeinsummerrain
Summary: He's increasingly curious and reckless, so badly craving the experience of getting swept away in her unrelenting and unforgiving storm.
Relationships: Paxton Hall-Yoshida/Devi Vishwakumar
Comments: 43
Kudos: 266





	it's fearless

**Author's Note:**

> homeboy is so fukkin whipped, it's embarrassing

Devi is, for lack of a better way to phrase it, an utter mess.

She is a train constantly on the verge of running off the tracks.

An absolutely devastating hurricane on legs. 

The best thing to do, in Paxton's mind, is to put as much distance between himself and the impending disaster that is Devi Vishwakumar. It would be wise of him to avoid getting caught up in her violent wind and torrential downpour. 

And yet somehow, this is not how things work out, because if he is honest, he's increasingly curious and reckless, so badly craving the experience of getting swept away in her unrelenting and unforgiving storm. 

That's why he calls her. She doesn't pick up, and he hasn't put any thought into what he is going to say when his call is forwarded to her voicemail. He fumbles around his words like a fool, leaving her a message and hoping his desperation for her attention and company isn't present in his voice. 

Devi doesn't call him back that day. Which is understandable, when one takes into consideration the way he coldly blew her off not too long ago, added on to the fact that she's undeniably got a lot on her plate, other things more worthy of her time right now. But still, Paxton grasps clumsily at the hope that she will still want to see him, be with him. And so he waits, restless and nervous, uncertain and wondering if he is expecting too much. He can't focus on anything else, constantly glancing at his phone every minute, as if his intense stare will magically make the screen come to life with an incoming call from her. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

That night, he goes to bed anxious, worrying that he has gone too far and fucked things up between them for good. It takes him hours to fall asleep because all he can think about is Devi. She is stubborn and refuses to leave his head, taking up permanent residence in his thoughts. And when Paxton finally does doze off, she is there again, starring in all his dreams. She won't leave him alone. But it's not like he wants her to.

When he wakes up the next morning his first action is to reach for his phone that's placed on the nightstand. His eyes are still bleary and crusted, an unfortunate effect of waking up only two seconds ago, and the screen is nothing more than a blur for half a minute. Finally, his eyes adjust, and he sees he has one new message from Devi. He scrambles to type in his password to unlock his phone, fingers uncooperative and jerky in his haste. He doesn't care how eager and uncool he may be coming off right now. It's not like she's here to bear witness to how much just one new text from her excites him and makes him lose his cool.

The message is simple in content. She apologizes for missing his call yesterday, and explains there were some family issues that needed working through. (He knows she had been spending the past week at her once, but now no longer nemesis' house. Paxton pretends the idea of them sleeping under the same roof doesn't cause jealousy to swell within his chest.) Paxton continues scanning her message as Devi goes on to state that she's happy he called, and can't wait to hang out, and would after school work for him? It does work for him, but even if he'd made other plans, there would be no hesitation in cancelling. 

He messages her a confirmation that, yeah, today is good, and he'll catch her later in class. His casual reply is an attempt to come off as chill, playing nonchalant all the while jumping for joy on the inside, because it's a date. Or, if she doesn't want to label it, they are two classmates going to hang out. They are going to talk and spend time together and maybe hold hands or kiss. And after acting like every popular douche in existence by shrugging off her advances and avoiding her, it might be the best he can expect. For now, he's content. Elated, even. Her friendship, as of right now, is enough. Even if he wants more, he can wait. 

The day drags on, painstakingly boring and long, as Paxton counts the hours until school is over. He has History class with Devi, but he slides into his desk only two seconds before the bell, and thus is only able to shoot her a quick grin in greeting and a hushed _'hey'_ before the teacher starts the planned lesson, and there's no more time to talk for the rest of the period. He tries to catch her in the hallway, but she's nowhere to be found when he attempts to search for her.

He sees her again at lunch. They make eye contact across the courtyard. She beams at him and offers a small wave, which he returns with a dimpled smile of his own. She is with her friends and he's with his own, but part of him hopes that she'll make her way over to say a quick hello. She doesn't. But that's okay, because he knows she'd had a falling out with her friends a couple of weeks ago, and he understands that mending their friendship is the more pressing matter at the moment. Besides, it's only a couple more hours until she is all his. He can be patient for a little bit longer.

When the final bell rings he wastes no time in rushing out of the building to make it to his car to wait for her. He's nervous, palms gathering sweat, which is such an out of character thing to happen to him, he can't believe this girl has this much of a hold on him. He takes out his phone to distract himself. He's been with plenty of girls before. Devi shouldn't be any different, but for some unfathomable reason she is, and that fact is extremely unnerving. 

"Paxton!" 

The calling of his name rings out clearly, despite the obnoxious laughter and shouting voices of the other students gathered in the parking lot. He cranes his neck, glancing over his shoulder to find Devi excitedly racing toward him. Her hand is raised in the air, and the smile she wears is wide, undeniably happy as she displays all her teeth. It's infectious, and he smiles back.

"Hi," she says when she's right in front of him, cheeks glowing. She leans forward, and he thinks she might hug him, but she simply pushes against his shoulder, following it up with an overdramatic fluttering of her eyelashes, and Paxton thinks that Devi may be trying to flirt with him. But she is so dorky and a little clueless and he can't help but laugh because _wow, she's so damn cute._

"Hey," he says, reaching out to flick her on the forehead. It's a friendly gesture, not very romantic, more brotherly than anything, but he doesn't want to push too hard and mess things up when they are both already unsure, wading deeper and deeper into uncharted territory. 

"So," her eyes drift to his car. "Where are we headed?" 

"Uh," Paxton starts, "I figured we could just hang out at my house. Maybe do some homework or study." Lame, lame, _he's so fucking lame._ He doesn't even study, _what is he talking about?_ He's realizing he'd been too caught up in the idea of hanging out that he hadn't even focused on what they would be doing when they were together. "Or we could watch a movie. Or something." Or make out on his couch. He doesn't suggest that though, figuring it might be better to keep that thought to himself, at least for the time being.

"Yeah, that sounds cool!" Devi exclaims, eyes bright, and it's becoming evident that she'd been anticipating hanging out with him as well. Her eagerness allows him to relax a little, the tension that had been building up in his body dissipating. The fact that he's not alone in his nervous, but still excitable mood is reassuring. Nothing has changed. They can pick up where they left off. They're okay. 

The car ride to his house is mostly quiet. Devi seems distracted somehow, chin perched on her right hand as she gazes out the window. She's contemplating something, her eyebrows drawn together and lips pulled down in the slightest frown. Whatever is on her mind is troubling her, that much is obvious. It is a far cry from her earlier attitude, and Paxton is concerned. He wants to ask what's wrong, but it's more than likely another family issue, and he doesn't want to pry and come off as nosy. If she wants Paxton to know, she'll tell him. 

He makes idle small talk, trying to take her mind off whatever is bothering her. It seems to work as they engage in mindless chatter that deepens into flirtatious banter. Devi's left hand is resting on her thigh, and Paxton's eyes flick toward it every other minute. He wants to take it into his own and interlace their fingers. There's an urge to feel her skin against his, but the desire is innocent, not sexual, born from a curiosity to know whether her palms are smooth and pretty, or calloused and warm. 

He doesn't have time to act on his latest impulsive thought because all too soon they are pulling into his driveway, and he is escorting her into his house. Devi flops onto the couch, relaxing easily into the cushions. Paxton is not so chill, but he tries to mirror her, forcing himself to lean back and lose his rigid posture. 

"So," Devi begins, scooting closer so her bare knee brushes against his own jean-clad leg. "You said you wanted to watch a movie?" 

"Yeah, yeah." Paxton swallows and mentally chides himself because he is better and smoother and more composed than this. _For fuck's sake_ , he's acting like he's fourteen again, right after he'd felt his girlfriend's chest for the first time. He hops off the couch, and strides over to the cabinet where his family keeps their DVD's. "I mean, we don't really have an extensive movie collection." It's mostly horror, accompanied by excessive violence and an unnecessary amount of gore, or trashy romantic comedies with enough clichés packed into 90 minutes to fill an ocean. "You can come look, see if there's anything you'd wanna watch." 

Devi doesn't spend much time browsing. Her eyes skim over the rows of movies quickly, and she reaches out at random to select a DVD case, passing it to him. He looks at the title and grimaces once he reads it. It's a slasher film with too many scenes of women in the shower and cringe-inducing dialogue that can't even be redeemed with the amount of body parts sawed off.

Paxton raises a brow and shows it to her. "You wanna watch _this_?"

Devi shrugs. "Sure. It looks like it could be interesting." 

"There's no real plot and a gracious amount of skin on display at all times," he warns her.

Devi laughs and shakes her head, throwing herself back onto the couch. She stretches her legs out in front of her, and because he is a teenage boy with a mind that acts accordingly, his eyes are naturally drawn to admire her legs and the expanse of skin where her skirt ends. "I really don't care what movie we watch, Paxton. It's fine." 

Paxton shrugs, smiling to himself, as he pops the movie into the DVD player. 

Five minutes into the movie, and they have both tuned out whatever is happening on screen in favor of sneaking secret glances at the other out of the corner of their eyes. He knows she keeps looking at him, and he wonders if she can also feel his eyes boring into the side of her head when she faces forward again. He wants to kiss her. Wants to push her down, so that her back is flat on the couch and she rests under him, hair fanning out around her head in a gorgeous, unkempt mess. Wants to slip his hands under her shirt and feel her chest rise and fall in quick succession as she struggles to catch her breath. He wants her to crave him just as much as he is craving her. But that is likely impossible.

Paxton turns his head, opening his mouth to express to Devi that he no longer wishes to be just her friend, but he's not able to get a single syllable out before she loudly declares, "Ben and I kissed." 

There is a pause, a long stretch of silence as the meaning of her words sink slowly in, rattling uselessly around his head. It's almost unbelievable, what she is saying. Devi being attracted to Ben is so ridiculous and implausible and of course it's not true, but there's no reason for her to lie. He stares at her, baffled, and she looks back, eyes wide and terrified, worried for his reaction. 

Paxton clears his throat. He doesn't know what to say. "I uh- I didn't realize you two were, uh, interested in one another." 

"We're not!" Devi says quickly, shaking her head vehemently. "He has a girlfriend, and I was grieving, and it was a spur of the moment, fueled by adrenaline sort of kiss, and it didn't mean anything." 

"If it didn't mean anything, why are you telling me about it?" 

He says it coldly, there's no real malice in his heart, but enough bite in his tone to make it clear that he's pissed and doesn't really want to deal with this. He's an absolute idiot. She's running around, swapping spit with other guys while he spends his time pining after her like some lovesick moron. She doesn't like him. At one point she had, but he'd blown his one and only chance at cementing a relationship with her already. Of course, it's not her fault he was acting like a douche and pushing her away, and she doesn't really deserve his anger, but _he's so stupid_ and mad at himself and he can't help it. 

"Actually," Paxton stands. "I think it'd be better if you just left." 

He's a jackass, and hurting her isn't going to make him feel any better, but if she doesn't leave now he's definitely going to say something he'll immediately regret. 

Devi scrambles to her feet, and stands directly in front of him, and he stubbornly refuses to look at her face. 

"Paxton, I like you. I want to date you. And I want to hold hands, and kiss you and eventually have sex with you and-". 

Her words escape her mouth in a frantic jumble, and he thinks dimly that she's a mess but he's an idiot, and if that's not a match made in heaven then he doesn't know what is. So he cuts her off with a chaste kiss, hands cupping her face as he tilts her chin upwards to gain better access to her lips. Her body is stiff against his before she relaxes, melting into the embrace as her arms come up to wrap around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

The kiss is short and sweet, somewhat reminiscent of their first kiss in that sense, and accomplishes Paxton's mission in getting Devi to stop spiraling in the form of word vomit. He breaks the kiss, and her lips cause his before forming a pout. He presses his forehead against hers. They are still so close and he can feel her breath fanning out across his cheeks, which results in his whole body feeling like it's on fire. And if he hasn't made his point clear enough for her he says, "I like you too, Devi. And I want to drive you home everyday, and watch crappy movies together on my couch, and I want to be able to call you my girlfriend." 

She doesn't seem to hear him. Devi blinks, eyes distant and glossed over. "That was uh- you deserve an A+ for kissing." 

Paxton chuckles, ducking his head closer to her again. "A+, huh?"

"Mm," she nods noncommittally, and she's so goofy and weird and amazing. And he wonders if she will react like this every time he kisses her. He likes knowing that he has the ability to render her speechless and dazed. He's not the only hopeless one. 

"So," he prompts. "If I'm such a great kisser, is that enough to entice you to be my girlfriend? Or do you need a little more persuading?" 

"It's more than enough to entice me," Devi smiles, but it disappears as she draws her lower lip into her mouth. "But, I don't think I'd make too great of a girlfriend." 

Paxton shakes his head, leaning forward to murmur against her lips. "I don't care." 

Devi laughs breathily, giddy and carefree. "Trust me, I'm not fit for a relationship right now." She pulls away from him slightly, but keeps her arms around his body. The frown she wore in the car has returned. "There's a lot of family stuff going on, and there's still things I have to work out with my friends, and I just-. I think I need to work on myself first before I'm ready to commit to anything, because I don't want you to regret being with me." 

Paxton thinks it's highly unlikely he'd ever regret being with her, but he doesn't tell her that. 

"Don't worry," he combs his fingers through her hair. "I understand. And when you figure out whatever you need to figure out, I'll still be here."

Devi grins cheekily. "You think I'm worth waiting for?"

He rolls his eyes, because she knows the answer already, she's just trying to embarrass him now. 

"Sooo," she drawls, "If we're not dating, do I still get to kiss you?" She asks, half genuine curiosity and half flirtatious. 

"Up to you, but let it be known, I'm not entirely opposed to the idea," he smirks at her. 

"Good," Devi whispers. 

"Excellent." 

And with that, he leans forward, closing the gap between them for good.


End file.
